Goodbye 2012 - Hello 2013

2012 is coming to an end

How I wish I have a time machine and repeat this year with no regrets

Many things happen in 2012 and almost beat me down

Can't believe that I have gone through these obstacles

Early of the year, I went to National Service at Bidor

It was quite suffer for me because I am a Da Xiao Jie

I know that and I admit that 

I still remember that I cried when I just went into the camp...

I want to leave the camp so much hahaha

Luckily I met a few of friends who are helpful, kind, funny...

They helped me and accompanied me to go through the three months

Although its only three months, I have learned a lots and it was such a good memory.

It was the best moment...best memory during the whole year

I cried again during 17th of March..the last day in camp...

Li Wei, Chai Chai, Jia Ling, Susan, Yee Thing and Kah Man...

I truly appreciate them so much

Thanks for appearing in my life and I will never forget them...

I took my SPM results and I remember I cried like hell

Got only 9As and missed the BM...

Because of this stupid subject and I couldn't get straight As and matrik...

BM...is always so sucks!

After came back from NS, I got a new bf and broke up after two months

Damn funny, right?

That time was a suffer moment for me

I was so sad... Tears were dropping non-stop...

However, I have gone through these....and I will never believe those flower-heart guys again!

Screww all the sickness too.. How can you come and attack my family members?

You are so cruel! Luckily they are alright now or else I will curse you like hell.

Wasted few months in hometown before going to college

I am so regret now as I could do so many useful things during that time

Haizz So many regrets during this year

Went to college during July and I was so scared

My eng is so bad... My speaking, writing, grammar... All are like shitz!

The study life is so stressful and suffer for me

Nearly can't stand for the stress and going to be mad

Luckily I met some awesome and crazy classmates here

At least I had passed the first sem...

First sem exam.... I can imagine my results...will be suck too!

Further Maths... surely will get a shitz marks... I bet.

Maths and Physics.. How could I get a good marks when I couldn't finish all the questions? T.T

Chemistry...Hopefully I can get a B.... Seriously, the only one subject that I trusted.

Please don't disappoint me again....

Gonna end my three weeks of sem break....haizzz

Its the same...My study plan failed...

I planned to do past year questions...I planned to do revision.... 

But I did nothing because I am so lazy

My laziness is always killing me

I wish there is a medicine to cure my laziness

Hmmm but I know the only one to cure it is myself

Hopefully I can turn to be a better one in 2013

2013, please be nice to me!

Please don't become a year like 2012 to curse me. 

Seriously I can't stand for it anymore. haizz

I, have to be stronger... tougher...Say 'NO' to fears...

As time goes on, everything will be alright.

Second sem is going to start. AS is coming soon.

It means I have to study harder or else I will repeat the same mistake.

2012 was full of sadness and disappointment for me.

I dont want it anymore. Never ever.

2013, I trust you. So please treat me better too.

2012, another goodbye to you. :)

Am I expected for too much?

Am I expected for too much? 

十八岁的生日

我原以为会轰轰烈烈的过

我原以为会有一大班朋友帮我庆祝

却只有三个朋友和我喝茶

除了失望还是失望

算了吧 

希望越大 失望越大

永远永远都只是一场空

最好笑的是 十八岁的生日 

我居然没有吹蜡烛 没有许愿

都是我自己的错

I hate further maths!

Another question I keep asking myself recently

Further Maths, should I drop you?

But seems like my classmates don't feel like want to drop it

It will be very weird if I am the only one who drop it :(

Seriously I like to do maths but don't know why I HATE further maths.

You make me headache 

You make me so stress

You make me insomnia 

You make me want to cry

You make me become more and more emo

Feel like want to give up just because of you!!!

Wasted my time just because of you

Face to face with you for the whole day but I can't solve any of it

Wasting my time and I can't do revision of other subjects

My maths, My physics, My chemistry!!!

All my marks for my tests were like shit! 

I think I couldn't get a good forecast already Grrrrr

And WHY Further Maths got two papers?

Two different papers and I need to do two different exercises and revision

But then after doing it I still cannot understand any of it

I still feel so blur OMGoshhhh

Now, I totally can't handle my four subjects.

hmmm It should be five because further maths got two papers ishhh

First time feel so depressed in my academic

It proves that my mind was totally wrong 

Before I came here I thought CAL is very easy

WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! I'm totally wrong!

I think it is much more difficult than the STPM haizz

What should I do? 

Semester one exam is coming soon ishhhhhh

At first I don't think forecast is important for me

But now I don't think so anymore

It decides how others look at you

I don't want people look down at me

I don't want anymore

Have to walk out and let everyone know actually I'm actually not that weak 

I can do it, right? 

hopefully T.T

And the last thing is : Should I drop it? 

How I wish you know what am I thinking

I want to tell you

Want to tell you everything

But yet you just don't care

Don't even give a damn or fxxk to me

Every feelings of mine are affected by you 

Everything about your influences me 

Heart broken and broken again

When only can I forget everything about you?

When only can I don't care everything about you?

I wish you were by my side whenever I am sad 

Do anything to make me smile 

Do everything for me like you used to do it

But this will never happen again

Pretending that I'm fine in front of everyone 

But only myself know which is the real me

Only myself know the true feeling inside my heart

Only myself know who I love, who I like

I know we are never ever getting back together

But then there is still a 1% hope deep in my heart

Still, I can’t wake up from my dream.

Can I?

UPSR 7A又怎样?

PMR 8A又怎样?

SPM 9A又怎样?

现在的我根本就没有用

现在的我很失败

现在的我很无助

我到底应该怎么做?

能不能有一天我变得更坚强一点?

能不能有一天我的父母会以我为傲?

能不能有一天我会变成一个有用的人  为我身边的人做一些改变?

One day, I will make my parents proud of me.

I want to be a successful person but not a person who keep seeking help from others.

I want to be the strong one but not the one who been laughed by others.

Can I?

Holidays!

 

okay! gonna post something about my last week holidays

Went back to the hometown by bus and the journey was damn tired

Slept on the bus and listened to the mp4

Luckily I still got music accompanied me in the journey

Reached home at seven something 

Got excited after I saw the everything in Teluk Intan

Seriously I can't imagine the moment when I need to left here again

I don't want to go back to Subang 

Its just because I don't wanna to face the stressful life  

The next day was Lee Ying aka Brenda Lee's birthday! And finally I decided to buy a pair of orange shoes for her.

So bad that I forget to take the picture of the pair of shoes because I was rushing on that day

After that we went to Q box for her birthday celebration 

At first we want to give her a surprise but we FAILED! Because everyone was late and she came early.

Oh just fine then we sang karaoke and I bought a cake for her too

It was Tiramisu favour and it was so nice

We used to took some photos through Bryan Poh's camera but so bad he didn't upload it

I think he have to get a scold from me ahaha!

But luckily I used my phone to take some pictures with the birthday girl :)

Grace, RongRong and Brenda ♥ 

The few days after this even I just stay at home. LOL

I planned to study but I FAILED again!

Brought whole beg of books back to home but end up like this.

I didn't study at all! Take a guess what I did?

Watched Running Man and some variety shows with my mum! LOL

Thats how my life goes on when I'm free because I don't like to study

My laziness causes me to become like this! Haiz

Finally until Thursday I went to Grace's house. 

I planned to study with her but for sure I failed. Again.

I asked her many questions about Chemistry and she taught me. 

Luckily I understood some of them.

After that we ended up with gossiping some sampat things! Girls are always like that. Hmmm

So fast until Friday OMG >< I went to watch Resident Evil : Retribution with Jenni.

I love Resident Evil as my idol is Alice! xD 

Actually I like to watch whatever movies about zombies ahaha

Although I scare to watch, I still love it such as this movie and The Walking Dead.

Oh ya the season three of The Walking Dead is coming soon! I can't wait for it kekeke

Resident Evil : Retribution is so nice! I love it and there is a new character in it : Ada Wong.

But the ticket costed me RM18 WTF 

Damn expensive although it was in 3D

Anyway we enjoyed it so much

It made me feel like want to become the characters in the movie

Hold the guns and kill those zombies woohoo

I love this scene so much! 那些年僵尸们一起追的女孩 xD

And I can't wait for the Resident Evil 6! 

The war between the Humans and the Red Queen and the zombies!

After the movie Wei Pin fetched us to Old Town to yum cha and we met some old friends hehe

Then, we changed to McD again as the second round.

Jenni went back earlier at 11pm while Wei Pin and I continued our gossips until 1am.

Sometimes I felt 心酸 when I realised that I treat someone as a very good friend.

But they didn't care about me at all. I'm just invisible to them.

However there are always some of them stand with me when Im really down

Appreciate them and PUI those fake friends!

The last day of my holidays in Teluk Intan!

I hanged out with Pei Ting and Wei Pin

We met each other at McD then decided to change place to KFC!

LOL 女人是善变的! xD

After having our 'tea time', we went to Menara Condong.

It is the most famous historical building in my hometown

But I didn't go there before /.\

So we decided to go there and we took lots of crazy photos

Lets photos tell the stories =) 

They was Gangnam Style-ing LOL

Crazy people took the photo from bottom

And Finally Sunday came :(

I went to Sungai Besar which is a place in Selangor 

Many of my relatives live there and we celebrated my grandpa's birthday on that day

And, I cut my hair too. 

Nobody realise about it ahaha!

Actually I decided to go back to Subang on Sunday but my parents advised to stay for one more day

Because of my grandpa

That day his condition was not good too and we actually didn't sing Birthday song to him :(

I scare... I scare this year will be the last year we celebrated with him

Why? Why must him? Why must lung cancer?

Grandpa didn't smoke at all. He always have a healthy lifestyle but WHY?!

He loves us so much. He likes to cook for us especially his grandchildren

I really hope that he will be recover soon SERIOUSLY!

I remembered that he tell me to be more independent 

He told me don't too rely on my parents so much

He told me he was happy when he saw me grew up a lot after I came back from NS

I couldn't accept this T.T

Please! Everything will be alright.

P/S : Took some photos with my cousin too :)

Then the next morning I came back to Subang. 

Really early in the morning and I reached at 9.30am.

Spent a boring day in my room and I wasted my time

Face the stressful life again and forever alone life

One and the half year go faster please

Another P/S: Ming Cing I miss you faster come back la! T.T

So end up the holiday post with this photo as I like it so much.