Recently struggling with many things

I hate to plan for my future

But I must plan for it

Its killing me to think this and think that

Why I can't just go back secondary school and study back PMR or SPM?

Hmmm I just kidding

I really stress now

Getting down and down and down

I think I am slowly get into depression

Going to be crazy

Should I drop Further Maths?

The subject is so difficult but I don't want to be alone there

Should I change my subjects combination?

Take Bio and change to another class

It means that I have to get new friends and be alone again

Im not really like Bio because I hate to memorize things and doing experiments

But if I want to take optometry in my future, I should take it.

Some universities require Bio in A level and it will be safer

So what should I do?

I am very very tired 

Feel so awkward at college when ppl don't know what I was saying when I spoke English

I hate my broken English so much

Bigger stress when I think about IELTS test

How could I pass the test with this NOOB English?!

Every lecturer and staffs thought that everyone at Taylor have very high level of English

what could I only say : DAFUQ??!! STRESS!!!! 

so bad that Im not good at all

Sometimes I really wish that I don't need to study already

I just want to play and play and play

Sounds funny and childish

Ya I admit that Im still childish and not mature yet

I should have to be tough and look forward to my future

I shouldn't look backwards 

I shouldn't think about those memories again

I shouldn't say '早知道 早知道'

I shouldn't cry easily

All I have to do is accepting the truth and fight for it

Looks funny

I really looks like a clown

Keep repeating these sentences again and again

But I still cannot make it

Im still cannot let them go

Im still holding them tightly

Why I am so coward?

Why I couldn't be more brave?

Tears almost drop everyday

I just need someone to accompany me

A true friend

Laugh with me and talk with me 

Don't want to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner alone

Don't want to walk alone

Don't want to sit alone

Don't want to talk to myself alone

Everyday I miss my friends

MingCing, Jenni, Grace, KaiShi, PeiTing, WeiPin, PeiJin....

I miss everyone whoever appeared in my secondary school life

Miss the moments we played together

We laughed together

We gossiped together

Miss PRS Miss Interact Miss Tang Soo Do

Whatever I just don't want to be alone

Don't want stress

Don't want to be so suffer

I really miss everyone

My family My friends

I really miss you. :(